originally drafted by the author for the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit Service of Remembrance, Massachusetts General Hospital, Saturday, October 5, 2024. On the occasion of Perinatal and Infant Loss week.
For each life that was planned and whose conception was ordered,
We remember.
For each life that has come into this world a surprise,
We remember.
For each infant whose lungs were underdeveloped and who was unable to breathe,
We remember.
For each infant whose brain or heart could not help them live the life we dreamed about,
We remember.
For each mizuko, each water baby who was not yet fully grown before they died,
We remember.
For each birthing parent whose body ached with milk they could not give,
We remember.
For each secondary parent who felt utterly helpless to change things,
We remember.
For each parent held captive who could not get free from addiction to be with their infant,
We remember.
For each grandparent who saw their own child, beset on all sides by grief and confusion, helpless to fix or change,
We remember.
For each parent tangled in the razor-sharp web of injustice who could not be with you before you died,
We remember.
For each parent who lost their life trying to bring life into the world,
We remember.
For each doctor, nurse, and provider who worked tirelessly for healing and restoration,
We remember.
For each sibling who never got to share their kiddo the lessons they learned and the delights they discovered,
We remember.
For each Godparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, or loved one who cannot shower or spoil their little one,
We remember.
For each person whose partnership dissolved and buckled under the weight of the loss of their child,
We remember.
For each parent who chooses to put on a happy face and pretend they’re okay when they’re not okay,
We remember.
For each parent who allows their grief to surge and rage like a storm-tossed ocean,
We remember.
For each loved one and friend who came alongside us when we thought we were alone
We remember.
For each person who made us feel a member of community in our grief,
We remember.
For each salty tear that begins to water the seed of our gratitude and our love,
We remember.
Parent of every heart and every loss, we remember our losses today. We remember every sob, tear, and sigh. We remember the providers who did everything they could, even though it couldn’t give us back our child. We remember those who cried with us as we said goodbye. Be present with us in our reflection and our grief. May we be accompanied in love by the memories of our Beloved Babes. May we feel comforted by our connection to one another. Amen